534 days. Imagine having to wait that long to see and talk to someone you love. Now, I only know one other person, besides myself, that has to wait that long. 534 days of waiting, crying, depression and missing someone immensely. But, someone told me yesterday something that got me thinking. Maybe the time will fly by? When my friend told me this, I thought about it for hours. Maybe she’s right. Possibly, hopefully, time will fly by.

It probably sounds creepy that I’m counting down days until I can see someone who is probably getting over me, but step into my shoes; Imagine this; You fall in love with someone the second you see them for the first time. You go through so much, down to rock bottom. You run more than five miles at midnight just to get to his house. And all of it is stripped away faster than you can say goodbye. Imagine losing the one thing that makes you happy.

Last night, as I lay in bed, I did what I normally do. I thought of him and bursted into tears. My heart was pounding and I couldn’t, wouldn’t get him out of my head. Thinking of him every second of every day is a bittersweet feeling. It’s bitter because I can’t hold him at night, I can’t talk to him and I can’t see his face without knowing he isn’t mine. It’s sweet because it reminds me of all the great times I’ve had with him.

But does he feel the same way? Does he miss me as much as I horribly miss him? It is claimed that he sees a future with me, but I’m scared; scared of him moving on within the 534 days of anticipation and waiting.

534 days, my friend. we’re getting closer to what I see as our future together.