If I could go back in time and live in one moment forever, it would be with him. It would be just me and him in a room watching T.V, holding each other and not having a worry in the world. We would talk about the life ahead of us and how much we love each other. But that was all stripped away from me faster than you can imagine.

I remember the last time I ever saw his face. It was late at night, around one in the morning. I sneaked out to see him because my Mom and Dad forbidded me from seeing him because they got the totally wrong impression of him. Anyways, it was late at night, I went to his house and had the best time ever. We talked, watched Youtube and loved each other in every way possible. Then at around one or two in the morning, his parent dropped me off near my house. I still remember what it was like leaving him without knowing it would be the last time I could ever talk to him. I looked him in the eye and said a simple ‘Love you, bye’. If only I knew it would be the last time I’d say that to him. I would have said so much more. I would have told him he is the best thing that has ever happened to me, how much I love him, and how he makes me the happiest girl in the world.

The next day, after the last time I saw him, my Mom sat me down to talk. Right away I knew she was going to tell me something I didn’t want to hear. She told me she got a protective order against him. A protective order against the one thing that makes me happy. I immediately broke down into tears and didn’t know what to do with myself. I just sat there balling my eyes out like a venerable child. When I finally was able to sit still and calm down, I asked my mom a one word question; Why? She told me that he was abusive and a bad influence. Also how it was an unsafe relationship and she needed it to end. I still stand with my opinion on this; lies. Everything my Mom and Dad said about him is bogus. He was not an abusive boyfriend. If anything, he was caring, loving, and so much more. But saying he WAS is painful. I don’t want to let go of him, and saying he WAS a good boyfriend is the worst thing to ever come out of my mouth.

Though he isn’t my boyfriend anymore, I still love him. I still cry every night of the thought of him moving on, I still think about him everyday and I still love him more than anyone else could. On July 6th, 2020, I plan on going straight to him. Right when it is July 6th, 2020, I will see him again. But I have one fear that lingers with me everyday; Him moving on by then. I have this fear because I know I’m not going to move on. I’ve been through too much with him to move on.

Shaun, he gives me meaning. I love him so much it hurts and I wish I was there with him right now. Though it is a long ways away, I know I won’t give up on him. Whatever path he takes I will love and support him one hundred percent. But, I hope on July 6th, 2020 he chooses the path I take. I can’t stress enough how much I miss and love him.